my last memories :)

harry's orange flavoured condom stash!

haha, the only use for them;)

flowers.

'i wanna grow old with you'

i love and miss you

Deleted loads of my old posts, because they were so insignificant. And not really about anything. Going out tonight hopefully, round Tub's - stocked up on the alcohol eh roob.

Things are getting better, yet harder. Can't wait to finish year 11 now, although hopefully going to Sixth Form which I've heard is appallingly bad. Don't know what to do, or what i want in the future. I can't even be bothered to think about next week, let alone in a year or two. Just focusing on today. I think that is the best thing to do, live in the moment.

2011.

Haven't done this in a while, have I? Sorry.

So it's 2011 now, thank God. 2010 was the worst year of my life. Lost a friend on December 11th, and I can honestly say I will never be the same again. I think some days I'm getting better, but then I remember and it's all bad again. its a miracle though, because my last day with him i apologised for all the moodiness we'd had towards each other sometimes and then had the funniest time with him I've ever had. cannot explain how grateful i am for that. we planned to go to McDonalds the following Monday and I'm so sad I didn't get to go with him, just for that one last memory. Captured our last moments together on video, and its the funniest thing ever. I'll treasure it forever. I didn't realise how hard it would be without him, but it is so tough, and I'm embarrassed to say it, but i cry. everyday. he used to always be there, like at school in the cafe. every time I was there I would feel his eyes boring into my back and I'd look round and i'd see his face smiling back at me - as annoying as he was, I loved him and his cheeky grin. it's just a shame i never really realised until he died. he would brighten my days up, whatever my mood, and even if I was annoyed at him, he's still manage to make me laugh. that was just him, just Harry. I feel you in the room with me though harry, and that is one comfort. i never knew how much I'd miss you, but i miss you more than i could ever say. everyone does. you are needed here, it's like I've lost a part of me, like someone has punched a hole through my chest. But I'll cope Haz, cos I know you're here. I hope you know that I love you :).

So Christmas. it was actually alright considering everything that had happened. harry's funeral the day before - killer! but yeah it was good, and i got some really nice gifts. really grateful of everything. Mum and Dad tried hard to make it special for me and Liam, which was brilliant.

New Years was good too. first time I'd gone out for it, and at the beginning it wasn't very good because I got sad again about Harry not being there. I know I'd of got a slushy text from him, and i was waiting for it. Me and Molly spoke to him in the sky though and then we enjoyed our night. ended up going into town at like 2 in the morning - absolutely battered!!

Back to school on the 4th Jan - actual killer, school was bad before but now it sucks. And Year 11 is truly shit. most probably going to fail all of my exams, but i don't seem to care.

Such a lovely, depressing post, but it was needed.

Harry Williams

4.4.93 - 11.12.10.

23rd september 2009.

woooooooooow! i haven't done this, for a long long long time!
life's beeeeeen good. boring, but good :-).
best friend keeeping me going, miss her alot now though.. year 10, and not in any lessons :(.
love lifeeeeeee? lol, non-existent. always the same ole' story..
mehhhhh, feeling down atm tbh. emo?! hehehehe.
kinda a lot's happened..

luke's mum's wedding party :) that was pretty good. everyone was drunk sept me and shann! :L

ruby's house party other night was brilliant!.

TINCHY STRYDER AND CHIPMUNK was brilliaaaaaaaant too :-) bit squashed and nearly fainted but so good :)

anywhoooooo, got stufff to look forward to i guess;
30th oct- JUNCTIOOOOON!
31st oct- ruuuuuby's halloween party !!
gonnna be good (yn).
loveeeeeeee n stuff x

shannon i love you, my best friend x

1st julyyy.
hm, happy? yes.
i actually am quite happy at the moment.
got loads to look forward to still..
11th july: party in the park.
12th july: st ives music festival & dannielle's party.
1st august: holiday!
5th august: 14th.

w o o o o o p.
preeeeeetty much? :-)

8th april 09!

not much to say.
easter holidays, wednesday of the first week :)

YESTERDAY YESTERDAY YESTERDAY!
OMG IT WAS SO AMAZING.
i went to mary's at half 11, then we got reeady and went to town and met chels.
umzzz, then we went back to mary's, then to lily's (: we got reeady and went to peterborough.
we waitedddd in the lineee for agesss but when we got inside it was amaazing.
BLAZIN SQUAAAAAAAD were amaaaazing :D i love them. lol.
and then this lady called wendy who won 'peterborough's got talent' (oh dear god) HAHAHA and she waaaaas awful..

we were kinda at the back but when JLS came on, it was kinda a jump barge kinda thing and we were well close then. sooooooo gooood.

I MISSS SHANNNONNN xxx

i'm rather happy today.
my best friend shannon, well shandem is here ;) sleeeping over. so's daisy.

i'm not very good at all this writing feelings stuff, even though shan' says i am, lol.
but like, well yeah - i'm happy right now :)
had another, well argument with him last night, cba to explain but it's all good. not actually that bothered anymore tbh.

anywaaay, before i burst my happy bubble, i am looking forward to tonight :)
xx